I Have Learned


by Kathy Kane Hansen
Copyright © 1971 Kathy Kane Hansen


 

Iíve learned ó
    
that you cannot make someone love you.
     All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
     The rest is up to them.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter how much I care,
     some people just donít care back.

Iíve learned ó
     that it takes years to build up trust,
     and only seconds to destroy it.

Iíve learned ó
     that itís not what you have in your life
     but who you have in your life that counts.

Iíve learned ó
     that you can get by on charm
     for about fifteen minutes.
     After that, youíd better know something.

Iíve learned ó
     that you shouldnít compare yourself
     to the best others can do,
     but to the best you can do.

Iíve learned ó
     that itís not what happens to people thatís important.
     Itís what they do about it.

Iíve learned ó
     that you can do something in an instant
     that will give you heartache for life.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter how thin you slice it,
     there are always two sides.

Iíve learned ó
     that itís taking me a long time to become
     the person I want to be.

Iíve learned ó
     that itís a lot easier to react than it is to think.

Iíve learned ó
     that you should always leave loved ones
     with loving words.
     It may be the last time you see them.

Iíve learned ó
     that you can keep going long after
     you think you canít.

Iíve learned ó
     that we are responsible for what we do,
     no matter how we feel.

Iíve learned ó
     that either you control your attitude
     or it controls you.

Iíve learned ó
     that regardless of how hot and steamy
     a relationship is at first,
     the passion fades and there had better be
     something else to take its place.

Iíve learned ó
     that heroes are the people who do
     what has to be done when it needs to be done,
     regardless of the consequences.

Iíve learned ó
     that learning to forgive takes practice.

Iíve learned ó
     that there are people who love you dearly,
     but just donít know how to show it.

Iíve learned ó
     that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

Iíve learned ó
     that my best friend and I
     can do anything or nothing
     and have the best time.

Iíve learned ó
     that sometimes the people you expect
     to kick you when youíre down
     will be the ones to help you get back up.

Iíve learned ó
     that sometimes when Iím angry
     I have the right to be angry,
     but that doesnít give me the right to be cruel.

Iíve learned ó
     that true friendship continues to grow,
     even over the longest distance.
     Same goes for true love.

Iíve learned ó
     that just because someone doesnít love you
     the way you want them to
     doesnít mean they donít love you with all they have.

Iíve learned ó
     that maturity has more to do with what types
     of experiences youíve had
     and what youíve learned from them and less to do
     with how many birthdays youíve celebrated.

Iíve learned ó
     that you should never tell a child their dreams
     are unlikely or outlandish.
     Few things are more humiliating,
     and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

Iíve learned ó
     that your family wonít always be there for you.
     It may seem funny, but people you arenít related to
     can take care of you and love you and teach you
     to trust people again.
     Families arenít biological.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter how good a friend is,
     theyíre going to hurt you every once in a while
     and you must forgive them for that.

Iíve learned ó
     that it isnít always enough to be forgiven by others.
     Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter how bad your heart is broken
     the world doesnít stop for your grief.

Iíve learned ó
     that our background and circumstances
     may have influenced who we are,
     but we are responsible for who we become.

Iíve learned ó
     that sometimes when my friends fight,
     Iím forced to choose sides
     even when I donít want to.

Iíve learned ó
     that just because two people argue,
     it doesnít mean they donít love each other.
     And just because they donít argue,
     it doesnít mean they do.

Iíve learned ó
     that sometimes you have to put the individual
     ahead of their actions.

Iíve learned ó
     that we donít have to change friends
     if we understand that friends change.

Iíve learned ó
     that you shouldnít be so eager to find out a secret.
     It could change your life forever.

Iíve learned ó
     that two people can look at the exact same thing
     and see something totally different.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter how you try to protect your children,
     they will eventually get hurt
     and you will hurt in the process.

Iíve learned ó
     that there are many ways
     of falling and staying in love.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter the consequences,
     those who are honest with themselves
     get farther in life.

Iíve learned ó
     that no matter how many friends you have,
     if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost
     at the times you need them most.

Iíve learned ó
     that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
     by people who donít even know you.

Iíve learned ó
     that even when you think you have no more to give,
     when a friend cries out to you,
     you will find the strength to help.

Iíve learned ó
     that writing, as well as talking,
     can ease emotional pains.

Iíve learned ó
     that the paradigm we live in
     is not all that is offered to us.

Iíve learned ó
     that credentials on the wall do not make you
     a decent human being.

Iíve learned ó
     that the people you care most about in life
     are taken from you too soon.

Iíve learned ó
     that although the word ďloveĒ can have
     many different meanings,
     it loses value when overly used.

Iíve learned ó
     that itís hard to determine where to draw the line
     between being nice and not hurting peopleís feelings
     and standing up for what you believe.