I once saw this advertisement: "Make sure you're part of a winning team." The way to be part of a winning team in marriage is to bring out the best in your spouse. Remember to keep your focus on your spouse's strengths and not his or her weaknesses. Remember to believe in the potential of your spouse. Believe that your spouse has untapped wisdom and goodness that both of you can reach. Remember to notice positive changes and to express your appreciation. Express appreciation and gratitude for positive words and actions, even if they are not totally what you would have wanted. By giving positive reinforcement to a movement in the right direction, you encourage your spouse to keep moving along the best path for both of you.
from Rabbi Pliskin's book "Marriage"
ArtScroll Publications, 1998, chapter one, pp. 30-1
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