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Mark Merrill
Helping Families Love Well
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We all know that
words are powerful and lasting. I can all too easily recall hurtful
things that have been said about me and that I’ve said to others,
and you can probably do the same.…words have the power to poison and
even kill relationships.
But we often overlook the fact that words can also
be used for good. Just as we know words can tear down, it’s time to
understand how powerfully words can also build a person up. Why not
start building up your spouse now with these 5 types of words that
breathe life into your marriage:
1. Respectful Words.
After years of being married, it’s easy to
become comfortable with one another. But sometimes that
comfort can turn into a lack of respect when you are no
longer careful with what comes out of your mouth.…choosing
to speak respectfully to your spouse, and about your spouse,
means choosing words that will honor them, not undermine
them.…It also means choosing words that affirm their
judgment and abilities like, "I really respect the decision
you made."
2. Affirming Words.
I can tell you from experience that our
need for affirmation doesn’t disappear with age. My wife and
I both still desire to be validated by one another – and we
desire that validation often. Cherish your spouse by saying
things like, "You did a great job coaching our child on how
to handle that issue" or "I was so impressed by the
leadership you showed at work today."
3. Caring Words.
It’s easy to choose to dismiss your
spouse’s need to talk about their day or what’s going on in
their life. We’d rather check twitter, send an email, or
focus on the kids. But I encourage you to sit down and give
your full attention to your spouse when they need someone to
turn to. Speak caring words to them in a moment when they
are weak and need to know someone is still on their side.
"I’m so sorry to hear that…" or "Tell me more about how you
are feeling" are caring words that will breathe life into
your relationship.
4. Encouraging Words.
Truett Cathy, Founder of Chick-fil-A, once
asked me, "Mark, how do you know if someone needs
encouragement?" I said, "I don’t know, Truett, how?" He
responded, "If they are breathing!" Everyone needs to hear
words of encouragement, especially our spouses. So let’s
encourage them to press on when they are down. Let’s inspire
them with our words.
5. Appreciative Words.
Finally, it’s important to speak words of
appreciation to your spouse. No one wants to feel taken for
granted. Keep your eyes open for ways to express
appreciation to your spouse. "I really appreciate you
helping me with the laundry this week" or "I’m so grateful
for your help on that project" are the types of words that
will uplift your spouse and encourage them to serve you even
more.
© 2015, Mark Merrill. All rights
reserved.
Originally published at www.MarkMerrill.com
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