I Have Learned


by Kathy Kane Hansen
Copyright © 1971 Kathy Kane Hansen


 

I’ve learned —
    
that you cannot make someone love you.
     All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
     The rest is up to them.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter how much I care,
     some people just don’t care back.

I’ve learned —
     that it takes years to build up trust,
     and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned —
     that it’s not what you have in your life
     but who you have in your life that counts.

I’ve learned —
     that you can get by on charm
     for about fifteen minutes.
     After that, you’d better know something.

I’ve learned —
     that you shouldn’t compare yourself
     to the best others can do,
     but to the best you can do.

I’ve learned —
     that it’s not what happens to people that’s important.
     It’s what they do about it.

I’ve learned —
     that you can do something in an instant
     that will give you heartache for life.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter how thin you slice it,
     there are always two sides.

I’ve learned —
     that it’s taking me a long time to become
     the person I want to be.

I’ve learned —
     that it’s a lot easier to react than it is to think.

I’ve learned —
     that you should always leave loved ones
     with loving words.
     It may be the last time you see them.

I’ve learned —
     that you can keep going long after
     you think you can’t.

I’ve learned —
     that we are responsible for what we do,
     no matter how we feel.

I’ve learned —
     that either you control your attitude
     or it controls you.

I’ve learned —
     that regardless of how hot and steamy
     a relationship is at first,
     the passion fades and there had better be
     something else to take its place.

I’ve learned —
     that heroes are the people who do
     what has to be done when it needs to be done,
     regardless of the consequences.

I’ve learned —
     that learning to forgive takes practice.

I’ve learned —
     that there are people who love you dearly,
     but just don’t know how to show it.

I’ve learned —
     that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I’ve learned —
     that my best friend and I
     can do anything or nothing
     and have the best time.

I’ve learned —
     that sometimes the people you expect
     to kick you when you’re down
     will be the ones to help you get back up.

I’ve learned —
     that sometimes when I’m angry
     I have the right to be angry,
     but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.

I’ve learned —
     that true friendship continues to grow,
     even over the longest distance.
     Same goes for true love.

I’ve learned —
     that just because someone doesn’t love you
     the way you want them to
     doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned —
     that maturity has more to do with what types
     of experiences you’ve had
     and what you’ve learned from them and less to do
     with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.

I’ve learned —
     that you should never tell a child their dreams
     are unlikely or outlandish.
     Few things are more humiliating,
     and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I’ve learned —
     that your family won’t always be there for you.
     It may seem funny, but people you aren’t related to
     can take care of you and love you and teach you
     to trust people again.
     Families aren’t biological.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter how good a friend is,
     they’re going to hurt you every once in a while
     and you must forgive them for that.

I’ve learned —
     that it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others.
     Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter how bad your heart is broken
     the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I’ve learned —
     that our background and circumstances
     may have influenced who we are,
     but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned —
     that sometimes when my friends fight,
     I’m forced to choose sides
     even when I don’t want to.

I’ve learned —
     that just because two people argue,
     it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other.
     And just because they don’t argue,
     it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned —
     that sometimes you have to put the individual
     ahead of their actions.

I’ve learned —
     that we don’t have to change friends
     if we understand that friends change.

I’ve learned —
     that you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret.
     It could change your life forever.

I’ve learned —
     that two people can look at the exact same thing
     and see something totally different.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter how you try to protect your children,
     they will eventually get hurt
     and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned —
     that there are many ways
     of falling and staying in love.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter the consequences,
     those who are honest with themselves
     get farther in life.

I’ve learned —
     that no matter how many friends you have,
     if you are their pillar you will feel lonely and lost
     at the times you need them most.

I’ve learned —
     that your life can be changed in a matter of hours
     by people who don’t even know you.

I’ve learned —
     that even when you think you have no more to give,
     when a friend cries out to you,
     you will find the strength to help.

I’ve learned —
     that writing, as well as talking,
     can ease emotional pains.

I’ve learned —
     that the paradigm we live in
     is not all that is offered to us.

I’ve learned —
     that credentials on the wall do not make you
     a decent human being.

I’ve learned —
     that the people you care most about in life
     are taken from you too soon.

I’ve learned —
     that although the word “love” can have
     many different meanings,
     it loses value when overly used.

I’ve learned —
     that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line
     between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings
     and standing up for what you believe.